How the dumper feels during no contact reddit. Typically they feel what the dumpee does but in reverse.
How the dumper feels during no contact reddit. Respond to rejection with no contact, to create some space and allow things to settle down. I’m asking because my ex dumped me 4 weeks ago and I’ve been in no contact for nearly 3 weeks. Some posts suggest dumpers recover easier, don’t feel that bad, and so on. Whatever the dumper says within the first 1-2 months of the breakup should be taken with a grain of salt. The dumpee feels the pain of loss immediately and over time, slowly heal and move on. Dealing with Breadcrumbs. I let him feel like he was a nice guy who offered to be friends. Something like ‘I’m happy and well thanks’, or ‘I’m very miserable’ with a wink emoji before disappearing again. The dumper normally feels extremely sad about ending the relationship but similarly as if they have no other choice. Once you set up no contact the right way and once you set yourself up for healing and to facilitate positive change, it’s about practicing it the right way. So now I’m back in square 1, technically the dumper, but feeling like the dumpee and having to start no contact even though all I want is for us to be back together again. I did feel guilty for dumping, and honestly still do to an extent, but I never missed them and was happy to move on. Jul 14, 2023 · It’s important to understand how the dumper feels during this period of no contact. 8 months of no contact, met on two occasions to talk about our future, and decided to “start over. It is natural to feel hurt, sad because you two spent good time creating beautiful memories with each other and only time apart will be able to heal you and your ex. Let’s look at the stages of no contact rule from both perspectives, to understand how: Why would she get back with you after you fucked her over,you had your chance you fucked up,why would she put herself back in that situation,I m a dumper with an alcoholic ex,I get voicemails all the time of him regretting everything he did and saying he changed,and he wants to try one more time and he will always be there for me,blah blah,at the end of the day the trust is broken and the love Therapy might be good for you. The dumpee usually processes the pain and recovers. Members Online No Contact is a safe-place for those that have gone "no contact" with a person/people in their life. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage I couldve written your post myself, only difference is that Im only near 1 month NC, but the fact that she is in another relationship and posting lovey dovey stuff on instagram is so extremely disrespectful that I dont see myself taking her back despite how much I love her still, I dont think it would work either, I could never live it down and "forgive" her, even though she is in her right to During no contact i was like a soulless girl, feeling empty and rush of crying waves. ” dated for two months, made it official, and now we’ve been together for nearly a year! it took a lot of work, vulnerability, & communication. 4. I didn’t burden him with contact The dumper's experience during no contact is an important Coach Lee discusses your ex's experience while you are using the no contact rule after the breakup. Dec 28, 2021 · At first, your ex is certain about their decision to dump you and thus feels little to no dumpers remorse. When the pain is too much they will simply approach the dumpee. She would have to talk about her marriage of domestic violence and her childhood or it’s no deal. This is one of the stages of the no contact rule where you, as a dumpee, may feel confused but relieved at the same time. And let them live with it through no contact. We’re talking about a week or less. After about 3 months of no contact, they liked an IG story, then a few weeks later DM responded to another IG story, it felt great of course, I was polite and friendly and tried to keep the conversation going, only to get ghosted again. I know in some cases the dumpers can suffer a little less if the situation isn’t good for them. She left me for an issue and arguements, it was fixable and it was never about cheating. She blindsided me and said she wasn’t happy and wasn’t in love with me anymore. I know most of the comments here are about how you should move on and forget your dumper etc. He broke up with me for I think similar reasons - he said he didn’t feel the same about me any more and left, but our sex life also took a nosedive and we hadn’t for a long time, but I knew he still had the drive because I found certain things in the bedroom, so it These questions get asked everyday and there is only one correct answer: every person is different. We're not together anymore -- I personally am not interested in the whole "Let's stay friends!" thing. Typically they feel what the dumpee does but in reverse. This is the typical, “I’m no longer in love with you” breakup. Sure, Greg doesn’t want to sit around for months and wait for something to happen, but he also doesn’t want to do something that will jeopardize his chances of getting her back. In my experience as the dumpee, my ex did try to contact me every few months or so to try to initiate small talk, ask for menial favors, and greet me for birthdays/holidays. If someone dumped me and told me they don’t want to be with me the last thing I would do is reach out (which I have in the past but not anymore). For those who didn’t push back a lot, this stage could kick in 2-3 weeks in NC and for those who pushed harder it could take from weeks to months, depending how close and After all, with time, the dumpers view that you'll never change will disappear, but that's only possible with no contact, working on yourself, and letting your dumper wonder about you (you doing no contact with them is the complete opposite of smothering and depending on them - shows you are capable of it, against what your dumper believed). Jan 4, 2021 · Today I’m going to answer one of the most asked questions in our community. As a dumper who didn’t fall out of love but chose to walk away after he cheated, I struggle with ups and downs and feeling conflicted. That’s abusive. if he loved me still, yes. The dumper has detached & the dumpee is shellshocked. Stage 2 - Curiosity If you’ve done your fight for the person and you’ve stuck to the NO Contact then the second stage after a while for the dumper will be curiosity. The Post-Breakup Guide to Dealing with Social Media and Your Ex. You don't truly know how they feel, breaking up is hard even as the dumper. Stages of the no-contact rule The no-contact rule is typically adopted by the one whom the break-up hits harder – which, in most cases, is the person who has been dumped. Ive dated several women since her but nothing has come close to what I felt with her. Oct 24, 2023 · What Does the Dumper Feel After 1 Month of No Contact? During the initial stage of no contact, the dumper may experience a sense of relief and freedom from the relationship. When she dumped me she did still ask me to be in her life but I told her I didn’t think it’d be good for me and that I wasn’t really interested in having her in my life in a non romantic way. I do care about them as people, and sometimes even think about them, but I will never reach out to contact them. How does he feel now that I said okay? My guess is that he feels just fine. it's completely fine. But i can tell you if he or she is truly for you, they will come (I felt this way with every case I was the dumper except one, I dumped 3 times. However a break up is still a breakup and we did go no contact. They might indulge in the newfound independence and enjoy the absence of any emotional obligations. Doesn't believe things will change and must end things for their own survival. Many of you realize that with enough time, that wouldn't be something you want anyway, but as I try to give back to this community by talking with others about their experiences I see so many people dealing out "harsh truths" with their replies. Dumpers usually feel relief and a sense of freedom immediately, and over time they start to reflect on the relationship and that’s when the emotions hit them. in the end it's more common to hear from a dumpee that was blindsided and Give it time. 14 votes, 32 comments. I had been wanting to breakup for a while even though she was amazing to me, and I just couldn’t find the right time/place. I'm slowly moving on and have been feeling less emotional to my ex. It hurt alot initially but it's been over a year now and honestly I am doing great. I broke up with my first boyfriend and I’ve been miserable and IK he’s not because he treated me terribly. The moment you broke off with the guy your life went on and you are moving on. Full stop. i feel like the reason why dumpers are so hated (expecially in this subreddit) is because, to put it briefly, the majority of them don't care about the dumpees, and if they do it's basically impossible for them to show it without doing more damage. I wanted to share my perspective as a dumper on what being the one to end the relationship feels like and what I went through. If he didn’t have very strong feelings for you and the relationship wasn’t working: The dumper will feel relieved and happy about you. Lots of posts here deal with the pain experienced by dumpees. How Does the Dumper Feel During No Contact? If you’re in the no-contact period a lot of couples go through after a breakup, it’s likely that the dumper is feeling a range of emotions. But I do have strong no contact boundaries, got her blocked and won’t talk to her short of a reconciliation gathering. See full list on marriage. It depends on how the relationship ended, how much time has passed, how the relationship was overall, and a bunch of other factors that you simply can not attribute to one specific gender. As for if I regret going no contact, not exactly. The dumper's experience during no You sound spookily like my ex (I don’t think you are as we haven’t met up in a few weeks and it hasn’t been 2 months). I made the mistake of begging and pleading the first few days after the break up but then went strict no contact. Her emotions run strong. That’s typically how “the dumper” feels during no contact initially. Don’t worry about what the dumper is Do dumper feel regret during a rebound relationship even if they seemed happy? Littlr bit of context is we were together for 3 years and 7 months. If the dumper feels in control they feel comfortable with this pain and can return at any moment. The wrong way to practice it: Respect that decision. He dumped me… The dumper has no right to break up the relationship and on top of that wanting the dumpee to reach out out of nowhere without even first giving the other person a sign that they want them back. How long until your ex reaches out? Don't look at their social media sites. Instead, you’ll see it as an opportunity to get your life back on track. if Dumper sees no future with them, avoids acknowledging the good parts of the relationship while doubling down on the negatives. In different ways though. At first, they might feel relieved that the breakup is final and that they don’t have to deal with the drama (I’m sure there was some) anymore. As she goes through the stages of no contact, a woman is likely to have strong emotions. If you are feeling suicidal or want to self-harm, contact a prevention hotline Jan 29, 2024 · How does the dumper feel when the dumpee moves on during the No Contact? A dumper’s reaction depends on two things: their personality and the feelings they had about you. he texted me drunk on his birthday and said we could talk because i was at his apartment complex (my friend lives a few apartments down). I was relieved and felt “on top of the world” for about 2 months. This certainty is caused and hardened by many different factors, but, for the most part, the most influential are: relationship length, relationship type, the number of post-breakup mistakes you’ve made, and your level of maturity. According to many, the dumper is meant to feel relieved, I'm yet to feel this. She is avoidant. he help me and we both cried. I feel like that does more damage than not (at least for me). Firstly, the dumper may need some time to reflect on the Aug 29, 2024 · 1. I know it's not going to get my hopes up, I was curious what a dumper's thinking is because I'm the dumpee and was curious on what dumper's think during no contact. We were on and off no contact for 6 months post breakup but the last 4 months I have been absolutely no contact. Of course I miss my ex terribly but the fact of the matter is he treated me like dogshit after we broke up and no contact was the only way for me to heal. What do female dumpers feel during no contact? For male dumpers, it's usually relief, elation, nostalgia, regret and sadness. i kept asking if we could end this. Wondering if I made the right choice or if I should’ve worked it out. This is one main reason why Greg shouldn’t go begging for Megan to come back to him. we were able to reflect on our previous relationship & work on areas that needed improvement. don’t wish for a drunk text. We stayed friends for a week but then I initiated no contact as I still love him and can't get over him whilst he's still there. For the dumper, it’s one thing to think about never seeing or talking to your girlfriend or boyfriend again, quite another when the reality is actually unfolding and their forced to come to grips with the decision they made because you the dumpee are keeping solid with no Once it’s out of his control, he can feel potential loss or pure loss. I have no regrets and I am more confident now that I made the right choice. I've been in no contact for about 6 weeks and have been feeling the waves of ups and downs. That’s not It is a rare sight for a dumper to ask on this sub Reddit on advice to move on. Discomfort. Jan 29, 2024 · When you don’t contact a man during No Contact when he broke up with you, he will be relieved. Jan 2, 2019 · This is a good article when I read it made me understand the mind set of my ex bf we have been broken up over a year and month now the reason we broke up he cheated 5 years ago with another girl and slept with her a lot; he has problem with infidelity his eyes like wonder whenever girl shows interest in him also he has anger problem coz when we broke up and I told him I didn’t want to sleep To be clear, Im not saying that no contact will always end with you and your ex getting back together. May 12, 2022 · At this point, you won’t think of the no contact rule as a great way to get your ex back. Once we have been separated for a bit we may be able to form a friendship. Lasted 4-5 months. Ironically we’d kind of talked about our past breakups before and so she already knew that I wasn’t one to stay friends with my exes. As the dumper (This is in regards to another relationship): As the dumper, things definitely don't feel as shitty/or bad as it is for the dumpee. com What is no contact? Important reads: Chasing the wrong person. tell me more about what it feels like when the dumpee uses No Contact? I'm grateful when they do. Yes I did tell him that if there's ever a chance in the future I would love to try again. Sometimes dumpers struggle w no contact. Thanks, what you said is almost identical to what I have experienced, dumpees don't usually understand that dumpers feel the same pain dumpees feel, maybe even worse, especially those who dump for valid reasons, I lost myself in that relationship, at the end I knew I did the right thing. While some may try to regain control, others may feel a sense of relief and liberation. It’s been years and sometimes I feel pathetic for thinking about someone daily that likely doesn’t give a second thought about me anymore. if he wanted to get back together, idk If you could feel your dumper’s genuine love back in the relationship, and you gave your heart out, chances are he or she would be thinking of you as often even if they didnt reach out. Food doesn’t taste as good, colors seem dull, nothing feels good as it used to and every day I wake up with guilt of hurting someone I sought to and promised to take care of. Its been 6 months no contact and the breakup has been tough on us both but for me, it’s led to a bit of depression. Ex No Contact is a breakup support group focused on self-reliance and general healing. I feel like if they broke up with u in a messy way and made you feel horrible during the breakup then the dumper usually regret it longer. Told them it was too soon for that and that I needed time to heal. if he missed me, yes. Mar 5, 2018 · When the dumper wants you back, he feels an overwhelming urge to reconcile. (The dumper does mentally prepare for the breakup months prior to it, but it doesn't nullify the loss they feel later on. The one I didn't feel like this, she cheated on me and ran over my dog on purpose) Relief/happiness. That said, it affects both the dumper and the dumpee. At some stage of the no-contact period, more than 60% of male dumpers will reach out (from what I have researched) May 17, 2023 · The reason why the dumper isnt initiating contact during the no contact rule is for several reasons. I blocked him on social media which simultaneously set me to unfollow him. Our members listen, support, and encourage each other on their path to independence. My (f26) ex boyfriend (m28) reached out to me over the holidays to apologize about how he handled our breakup. Most dumpers will feel this because these thoughts have been weighing down on them, and once it's done they feel no more pressure. we met in his truck. After all, if your ex broke up with you and you want them back you might think they wouldn’t care if you ignore them but that’s almost never the case. So yes. Healing process as one of the stages of no contact Practice no contact the right way. If things end badly or you hurt her deeply, her emotions probably cause her to form a strong negative opinion towards you. It takes some time for him to adjust to the new feelings and sort them out. I’ll continue no contact for my own sanity and integrity but in the end it was the no contact that pushed her away. Right after a breakup the dumper is relieved and will do everything in their power to try to detach. Because there really is a right and wrong way to do no contact. The male dumper can engage with his territorialism, protectiveness, and possessiveness that comes from the hormone vasopressin which appears to be ignited (or reignited) by no contact in many situations. (Like this one moment i was laughing at my friend’s joke and after I immediately burst down crying for no reason) i believed in 3 month no contact rule and followed it no matter how desperate i was. Even if the dumper sends out a message like ’Hi, how are you?’ or ‘I miss you’, the dumper should either ignore those messages ,or respond in a brief, fun, flirty way and then disappear. Don’t wait for him or expect him to wait for you unless you’re both committed to reconciliation. this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. In either case, no contact can be a powerful tool for both parties to reflect and heal from the end of the relationship. This subreddit is for support for those that have, or want to, go no-contact. Thought I would get depressed from living on my own for the first time but I have just recently noticed I was on my own most of the time during our 2 year relationship living together so I didn't feel like my life changed much. ~That’s because a dumper doesn’t bother you too much for your absence right after the breakup. The past 6 weeks have been a nightmare. It seems like you are trying to weaponize no contact with an end goal in mind. 20 Reasons for No Contact. She is a mess. For example, how does it feel after not having spoken to each other for 2 months? To be sure that I wouldn’t feel an urge to reach out, I blocked him and deleted his contact. You would usually go no-contact after this person has affected you negatively and it is ultimately better to no longer have anything to do with the person. Use no contact to work on yourself so that you’ll only be bringing your best to any relationship you’re in (be it with this person or someone else). I keep pushing myself to not want her back but I have not yet accomplished that. How does a dumper feel when you use a no contact rule on them?. That’s why you can expect your remorseful ex to attempt to reconcile shortly after getting hurt. Overtime the dumper feels a small level of pain continuously, they are responsible for their actions and the position they are in. . yxzdlt rzcmh txubyr gijn nffui ezzx mgomct zvqay tgohk iczcdn